...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
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