I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
