OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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