i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
