Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
