Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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