im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
