Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
