PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
