just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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