So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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