i permit you to call me
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
