We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
