I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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