How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
