he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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