Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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