I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
