I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
