We're like a lot better than the average bears
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Shame is for Republicans.
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