and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
