We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
You may now shotgun with the bride
Just pee around me
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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