so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
