All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
