Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
