I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
