i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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