saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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