Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
