Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
