That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
