You're completely useless in the revolution.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
