All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize