Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
