In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
