5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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