She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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