The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Randomize
