I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
