Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Randomize
