im gay
i know
yea but for you.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
