wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
My ass is underappreciated
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
