What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
