I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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