If i come over, it means nothing
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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