And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
