Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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