would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
