just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
You work out of a Hotel?
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
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