I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
