haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
She's the barista slut.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
