this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
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