you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
