do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
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