you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
He shit in the fireplace
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize