dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
