I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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