that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
