he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
