You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
