are you still at the devil's house?
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
