thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
