While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
handjob tips. give me some.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Terrible idea I love it
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
