i don't like sucking hair
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
