It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
