While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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