I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
