So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
