The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
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