The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
