Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
you're hired as official boob wrangler
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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