found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
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