Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Pappa wants mamma naked
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
