i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
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