so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize