is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
