No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
