I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
