I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
