One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
found the other keg... it's in the tree
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
