i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
